Part 7: I Don't Know Kung Fu

I Don't Know Kung Fu

When we last left our heroine she left the cyborg lab in disgust at how boring all the options were.



Let's talk to this kung-fu man instead! This is going to be a shorter update as it's the stuff I didn't have time to post last night.



: Where did you learn to fight like that?



: You're very fast.



: Yes.

I see the dark forces of anime survive into the far future.

: "I'm not surprised. I must look like a lunatic," he says, before spearing his opponent's jugular with three fingers. "Kanthid Thrust! It helps me focus my breathing. My strength and will. It reminds me of how weak I once was... and how strong I've become."

: "Years ago, I was a starving beggar. I managed to steal a wedge of pie crust and was terrified that someone else would take it from me. So I hid inside that metal structure over there to enjoy my feast. Bite of the Hidden Queb! he says, clawing his enemy's eyes.

: "The stale crust crumbled into pieces between my eager fingers. And something strange happened. They drifted toward the ground like the softest of snowflakes. I was able to pluck each of them from the air before they fell."



: I'll bet I'm faster than you.

Why not?



: [Initiative, Quick Fingers] Block the punch and strike back.



We are fast!

: I'm ready for the next part of your test.



: [Initiative, Quick Fingers] Parry and counterattack. He won't see it coming.



Oh hell yes!

: Well? Have I passed all your tests?



: Yes.



: [Initiative, Quick Fingers]: Fist of the Last Castoff!

Now, the more astute readers will remember I picked up an ability to auto-pass quick fingers tests. "No, I don't need it, I say." How bout that flex skill? Nope. I got plenty of speed pool left and some cultists with a cot.





FUUUUUUUU





We get kicked back to the Tutorial Zone with the blue ghost.



He doesn't have much else to say so we go through the same portal and -



What the fuck?

: Open your eyes.



: At first glance, it would be easy to assume that the old man is dying of some wasting disease - or starvation. He is little more than a too-tall skeleton wrapped in translucent flesh and a tattered robe. His hands are essentially bony claws.

: And yet...he beams at you, his sunken eyes glittering with suppressed laughter and feverish life.



: Bat his hand away.



So we were able to give a kung-fu master with enhanced speed a pretty good fight, but we can't hit a creepy old dude. Ok.

: "Old Cirisa once saw you out of the corner of her eye. A week before his accident. Ulori-mar sold you a small bag of.." he breathes, closing his eyes. "Sugar-dusted almonds. But those aren't the only two. No. You drift through countless lives, altering and ending them. Never leaving a name! Never dying!.

: He draws in his breath. "Oh, I can't stand mysteries. Love them, but can't stand them. And so, I must ask you for a simply unthinkable favor.



Sweet! I need money to hit up the cyborg lab!

: Sharing knowledge? Yes, go ahead.

These guys are the Dendra O'Hur corpse eater cult from last update.







This might not have been the best idea, goons.

: "Now, if you happen to have another... er, semi-fatal accident, rest assured that we will bear you back to our chapel as tenderly as a bag of baby birds."

: He pats your hand gently. "And you have my word that we won't take as much as a nibble without your permission."



Dammit Callistege. We should figure out if this guy got anything cool from us, like the schematics for a rail cannon or disintegrator rifle.



: What did you learn from eating my flesh?

: "Quite a bit" he says, cheerily, then grimaces. "Too much, in fact. Your immortal flesh proved slightly too rich for some of my children."

: He pats his belly. "I have quite a bit more experience - and fortitude - than them, however. For me, it is merely overwhelming rather than, er, explosive."



No, dammit, not exposition!

: Share a vision with me.

: "Of course," he says, and closes his eyes. Teetering gently, he draws a long, smooth breath.





I want my two hit points back. Having learned nothing, I ask him for another one.

: Share another vision with me.

: Imbitu closes his eyes and begins to speak.

: "He regrets the first one he leaves behind. The next... less so. Soon they are falling like leaves to be crunched underfoot, and by then, he has begun telling himself it is not only necessary but good."

I assume this refers to the castoffs?



: Farewell.

Anyway, we also got a viscera sprig.





Join us next time as we maybe really learn kung-fu, talk to Cal, and deal with Mr Squid!